WAKE UP CALL....or is it?

This December, you will obviously leave the big city for the village probably with your own car or even a hired one. You will debut at the village adorned in some swag that is typical of the "cool kid gang"...you know? slides...socks... some skinny shorts and you will be perambulating about with a tumbler, sipping some alcoholic drink and offering some to your village people because in your infinite wisdom, you believe going round pouring some expensive liquor to random village folks is cool.

You will bump into one of your former high school pals adorned in a reflector jacket. From the look of things, he seems like a proud owner of some motorcycle taxi. Your friend will be elated to see you. After all, it has been years.

The typical you will of course pity him. Life must have dealt him a bad one. "Bike taxi?" you will ask yourself.

He will insist you visit him. He will tell you, "my place is just around the corner...I am still next to my folks home.

"Alright, lead the way..." you will tell him. You can't wait for his folks to see you and later, they will most definitely give him a tongue lashing on how he hasn't made it in life...yet you have. After all, you drive a car and he rides a motorbike taxi. "While your friend was busy reading books, you were busy playing in class. See how he has turned out yet you still ride a motorbike for a living" you believe they will chide him.

You will arrive at their home. At the main gate, he will disembark from his bike, talk to some pretty village damsel selling groceries and other wares in a makeshift shed just by the road.

Your amorous thoughts will then take over. You will ogle at the girl and think to yourself, "I wouldn't mind if he introduced to this one. She can make a good supplement. I could be sending her fare to visit me in Nairobi so that she can be occasionally doing my laundry". You will then cast a long perverted glance at her well rounded yansh as she bends over to pick some groceries for one of her customers.

Your friend will pick up a packet of milk and a loaf of bread from her shed, pay her, then leave his bike parked there and now proceed to walk yonder and open some huge gate made of iron sheets.

He will then motion you to drive over towards him and upon entering the gate, you will be met with a beautifully done house with a well manicured lawn. The scene will be breathtaking. It is clearly a semi permanent house plastered with rough cast cement with a running pavement of red ochre color.

He will then welcome you and tell you that this is his home and proceed to point over, just by the fence and tell you that, that is his folks' house. You will admire his compound. On top of his roof majestically rests a solar panel. He will usher you into his tiny living room that is meticulously kept, switch on his 41" smart Aucma TV and tune into YouTube after tethering his TV to his mobile phone's hotspot. He will then turn on his Sayona Sub Woofer and blast some music before turning down the volume. Probably wanted you to experience how loud his woofer blasts.

The pretty damsel at the gate will later come in with three kids sauntering behind her. He will introduce her as his wife and then proceed to introduce you to his kids while referring to you as "uncle". You will greet the damsel and the kids whilst wondering how she has managed to maintain that beautiful figure despite the three kids. "Vanessa will have to lay off the pizza, cakes and Cider" you will think to yourself. Vanessa is your slay queen back at the city whose pot belly rivals yours yet she hasn't borne any kids.

Anyways, while your friend's wife prepares tea for you, your pal will give you a maiden tour of his compound. He will show you his cows, chickens, ducks, geese and pigs. He will also show you his fish pond. You will later on be summoned back for tea and your pal will insist on you staying over for lunch.

You will definitely opt to remain for lunch because you are now mesmerized and on top of that, you suddenly don't have the energy and the oomph to go bck home. Reality would have hit you hard. While you struggle with maintaining standards and impressing your peers back in the city, your pal, whom you had assumed is suffering back in the village, has already made major strides. While you grapple with rent, utility bills and the likes, your pal is dealing with none of that. Deep into your conversation you will realize that he is a proud owner of two more other motorcycle taxis.

"As long as they bring me KES 350/= per day I don't have a problem" he will inform you as he masticates on a piece of chicken. Dude is an employer.

"Why don't we say hi to my folks" he will ask you but you will promptly interject. "No...this isn't the right time...you see I can't just say hi to them empty handed. Let us organize that for later" you will say yet deep down you know why you don't want to meet them.

You will later leave after he instructs his kids to give you a cockerel as a take home gift.

You will not have the strength to continue imbibing the drink you have been flossing with. You will go back home deeply embedded in a cocktail of thoughts.

"Maybe i should ask for a transfer back home...maybe I should ask dad to give me a piece of land and start building. My pal can give me tips on how to go about it" you will think to yourself as you slowly navigate your jalopy back home

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